Cheesily as
to be expected, the TV news station was about to cover a love story for
Valentine’s Day. And this year, in an effort to make the station’s stories seem
more hip, tech savvy, and ‘with it’; the news director proposed they do one on
the world’s first couple to have met and married via Vidigab, the internet’s
original (and still most popular) site for video chatting.
As a promotion for the site itself,
some of the leading thinkers and marketers had come up with the idea of
locating any couple who had become wedded by using their product. On their
site, they posted a notice to any potential couple asking them to register
their names. The notice remained posted for one month to ensure that as many
potential couples as possible could be discovered. By the end, the company had
gathered a surprising (despite Vidigab’s having been available to the public
for nearly a decade already), several hundred couples in all. Some of them were
scams, to be sure. And although Vidigab had not advertised any type of monetary
compensation for being the first couple to have become married through them; it
was generally assumed that there would be some sort of prize for participating
in this promotion beyond mere recognition and notoriety. Ironically, as of yet,
Vidigab itself had not decided whether there was to be a prize beyond the title
and having, during the week of Valentine’s, the authentic couple’s picture
posted on their homepage. Either way, the company knew that finding the ‘true’
couple was a priority less they accidentally be sued later on for having picked
the wrong one. So, before they knew it, Vidigab had suddenly become more
invested in this promotion than anyone working in their advertising department
had ever suspected. They sent investigators out all over the country to confirm
the identity of the ‘true’ first couple. Some of the sales and marketing
interns were sent to seek them out as well. This investigation, however, was
more to prove that these couples were legitimately married than anything else. Whether
or not they’d actually met via Vidigab; Vidigab knew already since they
recorded every video chat session (no matter how long or short) that had ever
taken place on their site. They weren’t trying to hide this fact either. It was
all right there in the fine print.
Once the
‘true’ couple was found, recordings of a few of their first sessions were
reviewed to ensure that they’d met before anyone else in the competition. This
couple was not, however, the first to become married. That is, their courting
duration lasted longer. This left Vidigab with another problem on their hands
but they weren’t going to over think it. This was their promotion, they
decided, and since they had never publically posted any official rules; the
couple who had actually become married first had no legal ground to dispute the
final ruling. The company would be hearing from this ‘unchosen’ couple, no
doubt, as the date of the ‘true’ couple’s wedding would be posted on their
site. It really could have gone either way but the board of directors voted to
pick the couple who’d had the longer courting period based on one peculiarity.
And it was this peculiarity, they’d determined, that would be better for the
promotion overall and the overall popularity of the company.
“This is Reggie Letterhead and
we’re coming to you live this Valentine’s Day afternoon,” the newsman spoke
into the camera, “With a very special couple who have redefined love and
romance in the modern age. I’m connected right now, appropriately via Vidigab,
with the very two people who have become known to the world as; the first
couple to have met on the site, courted each other, fallen in love, and then
become wedded. I give you, Mr. and Mrs. Karen and Frank Mitchell. Karen, can
you hear me?”
“Yes. I can
hear you Reggie,” she smiled over the screen, “And see you.”
“Wonderful,”
the newsman replied, “I understand that you’re streaming to us from Syracuse,
New York. While you, Frank,” he turned his head a hair as if to speak more
towards a screen located slightly to his right, “I understand that you’ll be
coming to us today from Dayton, Ohio where, unfortunately on this day of
romance, you were obligated to take a business trip.”
“That’s
right, Reggie,” the man answered him. He was standing outside near a river with
what must have been downtown Dayton in the background, “And I do deeply regret
that I’m not able to spend this holiday with my beloved wife. But she knows
that I’ll make it up to her, don’t you sweetheart?”
“Of course
I do, baby!” she smiled sweetly.
By using
the automatic split screen feature (one of Vidigab’s latest) each of these
persons, from their laptop, were able to see the other two clearly.
“That’s
just wonderful,” Reggie repeated and smiled smugly straight into his own high
quality webcam for the viewers’ sake, “You two really do seem happy together.”
“She’s the
love of my life,” Frank replied, “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“You see?
For all you critics, cynics, and disbelievers out there,” Reggie thought this
was a really good line, “True love can and does exist. Sometimes, you’ve just
gotta keep trying. But…speaking of which, let me ask you two a few questions
about back when you were still trying to find the right one and then,
serendipitously, discovered each other. Let me ask you a little about your
dating days and lovely courtship.”
“We’d be
happy to,” Karen answered, “What would like to know?”
“Well,
first let’s give the viewers a timeframe. How long ago did you two actually
meet?”
“You want
me to take this one, honey?” Frank asked.
“Go right
ahead,” Karen’s voice; always cheery.
“Well, it
was almost ten years ago,” Frank took a moment to reflect, “Which is amazing to
me because it really does only seem like yesterday.”
“And
exactly how did you two stumble upon each other?” Letterhead kept him going.
“Well Vidigab,
from the very beginning, has always had a random selection chat option on their
page. Just click the button and POOF! Seconds later, you’re talking to someone new.
Here, the
newsman really wanted to ask Frank if Karen was the first woman he’d ever
spoken to, met, or even courted by way of Vidigab but knew that this question
might instantly become uncomfortable. Suppose Frank had. Suppose she didn’t
know about it. Would he tell the truth? Would he lie but with the truth plainly
visible on his face? Because that would have been great. It might even be worth
the risk. And that’s one of the reasons Letterhead wanted to do live interviews
in the first place. To bust people! To bust people in ways deeper and more
emotional, he thought, than a cop ever could. But Letterhead also knew that by
getting his interviewee into an uncomfortable situation, because he worked for
a such a cheesy television station and was broadcast during daytime hours when
mostly the elderly and some families were watching; he too, along with his
ratings, would meet with an uncomfortable situation. Day after day, he was
tethered to these assholes…and he hated it.
“Well, love
truly is a miracle,” he said instead and without a shred of sarcasm, “If such a
couple, so plainly meant to be together, was actually brought together at random.”
“Well,
random is a curious thing,” Frank picked up, “That is…I don’t believe in
accidents, if that’s what you’re asking.” Letterhead hadn’t asked him anything
of the sort but Frank didn’t realize this. “I mean, we both had computers and
were using the Vidigab program years before it became popular with the general
population. Maybe we were both just lonely but forward-thinking and the shoes
just fit or however the saying goes.”
Letterhead
didn’t like the avenue this interview was taking and even wished he could edit
that last part out. But that was the beauty and the catch to being a live reporter. It was his job…his responsibility to conduct this
conversation in an artful manner. Why couldn’t people seem to understand that
that was very difficult to do? It took a special kind of person with a special
wit. He definitely wasn’t appreciated enough; monetarily or otherwise.
“And then
how long did you two date?”
“One year,”
Karen couldn’t resist answering, “And while I’m happy as a person can be now,
that year was the most wonderful, most romantic of my entire life. Frank and I
were practically inseparable. We did absolutely everything together and so, at
a certain point, I guess it only really made sense to get married. And then he
popped the question and made me the happiest woman on Earth.” Tears of joy
actually began to pool in her eyes as she recollected.
Finally,
thought Letterhead, they were back on track. And this raw emotion she was
showing was really going to get the viewers going.
“Well,
Frank,” the newsman smiled slyly and egged him on, “What was the proposal
like?”
“It was
like all the happiness I’d felt over that past year had all compiled into one
moment. And when she said ‘yes’ and I saw that ring on her finger… Well, sir…I
felt like I’d been zapped by a giant, blissful laser and I knew that, from
there on out, everything was going to be okay. I knew that we’d grow old
together and never part. I still know that for certain. And I felt the touch of
destiny, if that makes any sense.”
“Perfect
sense,” Letterhead agreed, “Perfect sense. And now Karen,” he switched back
again to the screen on his left, “I’m assuming that not too much more time
passed before you two lovebirds officially tied the knot?”
“That’s
true,” she blushed, “It took just a few months to plan. We both wanted to give
our families enough notice so that they could be there. And it was so wonderful
the way they all got to finally meet and…”
“And you
should have seen her in that dress!” Frank couldn’t even help himself. He was
actually compelled to interrupt but knew that, by paying her this compliment,
she wouldn’t mind. She’d love him all the more for it.
“I’ll bet
she was just beautiful, Frank,” the newsman continued, “And I’ll bet you
cleaned up pretty nicely yourself.”
“He was so handsome, Reggie. I felt so
underserving and actually thought that some other girl might come over and
sweep him off his feet…right there at the alter! It sounds crazy, I know. But
once I looked him in the eye and heard him say ‘I do’; I knew that he’d be with
me forever and ever. He’s the best man I ever met. Till death do us part.”
“That’s so
charming,” Reggie was finally bored with this and suspected his audience was
too. Let’s just get to the kids and wrap this thing up, “And I even understand
that you have children?”
He’d
decided to let either one of them field this question and, having left it open
this way, they actually both answered at once, “We do!”
Then Karen
took over, “We have a little girl and a boy. They’re six and eight.”
“They’re
wonderful!” Frank picked up, “Our very pride and joy. You know something,
Reggie? Looking back on it, when I was still a single man…I have no idea what
kept me going. Because today, my family is everything. I live for these people.
I don’t remember feeling lost or lonely before…well, not that much. But today,
I know that I have a home in the
hearts of each of these people and am,” he actually choked up here, “Unconditionally
loved.”
Wow, the
newsman thought to himself, I couldn’t have done that any better myself. That
was beautiful. And the timing was perfect! Now, all we have do to is bring this
thing to a happy conclusion and put a bow on it.
“That’s
beautiful, Frank. I truly mean that. I think your words have touched us all on
this Valentine’s Day. And now Karen…do you have any tips or parting words of
advice for all those young lovers out there? Perhaps some newlyweds even?”
“Oh, well
that’s a great question, Reggie. But I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer…”
“Oh, sure
you are,” Reggie smiled a twinkling grin, “And I think all the viewers at home
would agree with me there. Consider ‘joy’ and ‘happiness’ your credentials.”
“Oh, well
alright then,” she timidly proceeded, “Well, then I have to say that the key
for any couple is to do things together. All the time. Always be together. Or
at least as much as you can. Now, of course there’s a certain amount of
compromise that comes with that. Sometimes you have to do what they want even though it might not be your thing. And vice versa, of course.
But that’s what I love about Frank. He always goes shopping with me. Shopping
for clothes, I mean. And even though I know it probably bores him out of his
mind, he does it just to be close to me. Technology has really helped us along
too. I mean,” and she smiled at her husband here through the split screen on
her own laptop, “I’d take him along no matter what…whenever he wanted to come
with me, that is. I’d lug my laptop around, sure. And I have in the past. And
it was really no problem. But today, I can take him around with me on my phone
since, as you know, Vidigab can now be utilized through a smartphone
application. And it’s just so much easier. I can always have him where I want
him,” she smiled, “Right here in my little pocket.”
“Yes…”
Reggie stammered, “So…what you’re saying is that even though Frank may be busy
doing other things sometimes, he can still help you try on dresses…tell you
what looks good? Things like that?”
“Well yes,”
she answered, “Although I never bother him when he’s working. Not unless it’s
an emergency, of course. But when he’s able to, my Frank always comes with me.
We’ll go shopping for hours sometimes.”
“On your
phone,” this was actually a question but the newsman’s voice was flat.
“Well yes,”
she smiled, “On Vidigab, of course.”
“And
Frank,” Reggie needed a quick and concise answer and knew he wasn’t going to
get it from Karen. He needed a man’s answer. Then he could finally put a lid on
this interview before it spiraled any further out of control, “You’re okay with
sitting in front of your laptop that whole time?”
“Oh, I
would be Reggie. But like my wife said. With the benefit of smartphone
technology, I’m much more mobile now. She can take me with her but I can also
take her with me,” and, through the screen, he winked at Karen.
“Oh,” fuck,
that wasn’t exactly the answer he was looking for, “So you two just…do things
together virtually then.”
“Well yes,”
came Karen, “I guess you could say that we only have done things virtually together. We thought that’s what this
interview was about,” she smiled innocently, “A Vidigab marriage?”
“Right,”
Reggie shot back, “You two were the first couple to have met and married on Vidigab.”
“Yes,” Karen
replied, “But it’s so much more than that. We met on Vidigab…”
“Yes.”
“And Frank
courted me over Vidigab…”
“Ah-huh.”
“We married
over Vidigab…”
“I’m sorry.
You married…?”
“And our
whole wonderful relationship thus far has all been thanks to Vidigab.”
And for the
first time in a long time, Reggie had nothing to say. He wanted say something.
He wanted to ask another question. But it was as if he just couldn’t formulate
the words. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it. Plus, since the answer was
so absolutely inconceivable, he certainly didn’t want to risk looking like a
fool on live TV. But nobody was saying anything! So, absent-mindedly he
muttered, “And your children…”
Yes,
Reggie! Yes! Of course! Let’s see them try to get out of that one!
“I sent her
my sperm!” Frank answered proudly.
“Well, to
be more precise,” Karen explained, “It was sent to my doctor’s office.”
“You were
artificially inseminated?” the newsman’s voice lost a notch of its composure.
“Well,” one
side of Karen’s mouth crinkled, “That’s not the term I like to use in front of
our children. But, for the sake of being direct; yes.”
“Both
times?!”
“Yep!”
Frank smiled again, “A different batch, of course. We felt it would be more
natural that way.”
“Oh, honey,”
his wife softly chided, “There’s no need to be crude. I’m sure all the folks at
home don’t need to know all that.”
“So you two
have never…actually…”
“Met?”
Frank could tell that the newsman was struggling with this and had tried his
best to fill in the blank.
“I was
going to say…” Reggie searched for a term that would be ambiguous enough to any
kids in the audience, “Engaged in…”
“Made love?” Karen suggested
pleasantly.
“Yes,” Reggie breathed a sigh of relief, “There’s the term I was looking for.”
“Yes,” Reggie breathed a sigh of relief, “There’s the term I was looking for.”
“Well, of
course we’ve made love,” Frank seemed to really enjoy talking about this, “And
not to brag or anything but we make love just about every night. For that,
though, the laptops still come in a little handier than the phones,” he
double-clicked his tongue in his cheek.
“And it can
be just as intimate as, how shall I put it? The usual way,” a blushing Karen
added , “Maybe even more so.”
“But you…”
Reggie was losing his cool and he knew it, “You, Frank, told us that you were
just in Dayton on a business trip.”
“I am. I
live in California and work for the airlines which is really handy for the
children’s sake. I mean, they can fly for free so… I guess you could say; we
have joint custody although we prefer not to see things that way. They live
with their mother most of the time but come to stay with me on the weekends.”
“And
holidays…?” the newsman added flatly from journalistic instinct more than
anything else.
“Well,
that’s where the real beauty of Vidigab comes in once again. I’m always over
there or vice versa. I’ve never missed a birthday. A Christmas. In fact, last
Mother’s Day, the kids even took me upstairs with them after they’d cooked
their mother breakfast in bed.”
“So what
about when you proposed?!” Letterhead was exasperated now, the audience had all
but disappeared in his mind and these next questions; he asked merely to
satisfy himself, “You mean to say that you never actually put the ring on her finger?!”
“Well, no,”
and here, Frank began to sound a bit embarrassed for the newsman’s own obtuseness, “Of course not, Reggie. I just
mailed it to her. I mean…not everything
can done digitally.”
“And the
wedding?”
“Well, we
were each with our families,” Karen recollected fondly, “And they did meet each
other…just remotely. And their
reception was broadcast on a big screen and ours was done the same way over
there. And almost one hundred of us in all danced the night away. It really was
quite lovely.”
“But why?!
Why did you two never meet?!”
“Well, I
don’t know,” Frank shrugged, “I guess, it’s because everything’s been perfect
as is. And suppose one of us moved across the country for the other…but then we didn’t like it. That would instantly
create grounds for resentment and well…no relationship ever needs that.”
“I think
what my husband’s trying to say,” Karen eased in with her womanly wisdom, “Is
why mess up a good thing when you have it? We’re all so perfectly happy.”
“I see,”
the newsman nodded introspectively, “I see.”
He wasn’t
thinking about them, though, because Reggie realized that, in a flash, this
thing had taken another one-eighty. This interview was about to become an
internet sensation! Instantly! The question was; how would he come out looking? Like a dope or a genius? The question was;
would he ever be able to get these two to meet…on camera, of course. On
Vidigab. The question was; would his audience ever be able to love him as much
without touching?